Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Movie Reviews With Roman (The Sequel)

I haven't done one of these in a while, but the first one remains one of the most popular features I've ever had on From the Front Row, so I decided to bring it back.

My friend Roman Presnell has a unique way with words, and his tongue in cheek movie reviews he posts on Facebook always make me giggle, so I decided to share them with the world. Here are a few recent highlights:




KNIGHT & DAY - zero stars

If I wanted to watch a disjointed story with a dumbass premise with these two idiots in it I'd rent Vanilla Sky.

THE A-TEAM - ★★★★½

Are you kidding me? It's the fucking A Team! As if I'd even THINK of giving this a bad review! Even if I didn't like it I'd still claim I did just so the A-Team didn't beat my ass. Luckily, that is an impossible situation because there's no way anything about the A Team could ever suck.

KILLERS - ½ star

Why is it that the fucking entertainment industry is trying to ruin something as cool as fucking killers? It used to be that if you were a killer you were like a scary dangerous motherfucker! Nowadays it's all Ashton movies and shitty rock bands.

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON - ★½

In this thrilling installment, you can rub your vagina while sitting on a vibrating washing machine while crying over a picture of Edward (or Jacob) and listening to your favorite my chemical romance CD. Make sure to wipe off that tear streaked mascara before heading to third period.

THE LAST SONG - ½ star

Spoiler Alert!

It's most certainly NOT her last shitty song.

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